I slept on it and I was going to do it, alas I found out today that she is actually seeing someone. I asked her because I thought I should. We ended up having a very interesting conversation via text, around 12pm.
I will reproduce it here so all can see:
Me: Hey I just wanted to say hey. and ask if you are seeing anyone.
me: well that’s cool…I guess ill hit you up another time..I just dont feel right hanging out if your seeing someone…
her: I don’t understand that. I don’t get why I can’t hve guy friends without any of them wanting more out of me
her: Every guy friend I have i’ve lost unless they’re fucking gay.
me:It not that I want anything it just not fair to the relationship…i dont want to be a resturant and end up fighting yr bf bc he doesnt know me. it happened before…
her: He lives with another girl.
His best friends are all girls. We’re not that kind of couple we aren’t jealous assholes.
(right here I’m fuming and on the verge of tears (man tears) because of her bf. I texted back after four minutes this reply):
me: Ill just have to think about it with all this new information…
and that’s where it ends. I feel a bit upset, not as bad as originally this afternoon while driving home. Still, I don’t know what to think. Where do I go from here?
This is more than I bargined for as you might imagine. I’m pretty much just gonna pull the plug on this party (electric 6 reference) and just move on and try to enjoy the holiday with friends, alcohol, family, alcohol, movies, alcohol, video games, alcohol, internet and alcohol. I’m also thinking posting this text conversation might be a bit unsafe however I didn’t mention her by name and I didn’t really slander her in anyway so I think I’m safe…as safe as one can be on the internet.
(if you think I should remove this though, just tell and I’ll do it)
I texted that girl from back home last night and we texted for a few minutes while she was getting ready for work. She was really happy to hear from me and she was looking forward to hanging out with me. At least that is what seemed like, I mean they’re texts so you kind of have to make your own conclusions.
I ended the texting with this:
"I’ll be bothering you soon"
She replied back:
"No bother please do"
which sent me all giddy and happy…mostly because I’ve been wanting to do that to her since I met her…
I’m only on page 39 right now but so far, it’s been pretty awesome. It’s the last of the Salinger books that I got on my birthday in San Francisco. I read the short story in “Nine Stories” that has Seymour in it. Okay, I read all of them in order or whatever order there is.
I love how Salinger uses adjectives in describing the scene and the ackwardness that is inherent in his stories. I’m taking my time reading it because I love Salinger. He is one of my writing heroes. As a writer, I take a lot from him in terms of descriptions and the pathos of humanity.
It’s only been two or three days since i emailed that girl I want to hang out with back home. I still haven’t anything yet. At my school, it’s finals week so maybe its the same at her school…or not…
I’m fighting the urge to send her songs and more notes. Okay, so maybe it was my bad to send her an email but the last time I was home for christmas, I called her, twice, and she never called me back, when I texted her, she texted back pretty quick.
I’m rolling this around in my head and I feel like I’m chasing a wild goose. I want to text her right now and see if she got my email but I don’t want to be pushy.
I feel like Charlie Brown talking about the little red haired girl (for the record the girl i want to hang with is blonde not red haired)
I just don’t want to be lonely anymore. I want to do more than just get drug around by my parents and stay at my Nana’s for Christmas holidays…I foresee this as being that way though because that’s how it always is…